Blogs have many meanings, to inform, to educate, and to help. At times one has to become bare show themselves in order to help others, for you never know your experience just may help someone. As i stated in a previous post this blog was created for one purpose and ended up being for another. Through out life's journey their are many distractions, some are good for growth and others hinder growth. This post is about a distraction hindered my growth and also made me see where i needed to grow, so something good came out of it. This particular distraction was a relationship. Before i became involved in this relationship i had a goal a plan and stopped some bad habits. I was doing really well, not to get to spiritual, but my spiritual walk was drawing me closer to God and who he knew i was to become, it was great. Then came along my distraction my weakness of not wanting to be alone. He was great, he possessed just about everything i desired in a man. It was great in the beginning. But as time went on things started to change in me and i choose to ignore them. I stopped studying for my Natural Hair License and i picked up a bad habit that i had stopped for over 6mos doing. I had justified all my actions knowing deep down inside something else was wrong. I had become distracted and being redirected to a path that i knew i wasn't suppose to be on. As time went on and i became deeper and deeper into the relationship i started to realize the things i knew wasn't right and my spirit was letting me know i started seeing the writing on the walls and they were speaking loud and clear. After a while the relationship ended but not by my doing but by the other person involved. I had left the relationship mentally long before they decided to let it go physically. After the relationship was over i was angry not because the relationship was over but mainly because i allowed myself to become lost in the relationship. Of course that was not my first reaction or thought hear is my first reaction:
How Dare You
You say you love me, but you leave me
You say you forgive me, but you hold it against me
You say it’s not me, but you list my inequities
How dare you take a piece of me
You came in like a thief in the night and stole my love and then threw it away like a thorn up rug
You left me with dried up tears of loving you no more
You left me feeling unpleased as if I had a disease of an unwanted cool breeze
You left me with a sadness that could not be missed even if you blew it with a tender kiss
How dare you take a piece of me
You left my tender touch, my soft lips that would yearn for you sensual kiss
You left the unity of our bodies of chemistry that erupted a fire that wouldn’t burn out until the sun came up
How dare you take a piece of me
You had me buy into what you were selling
Knowing that it was not refundable
I’m torn broken in two I should have know better to be that free with you
I’m sorry to you didn’t take it I gave it away without saying come what may
I was blinded by the maybe and could be’s
By your eyes that mesmerized me
Love is not blind for it always see
It is us blinded by the certainties that has us not seeing
the heat is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally with thought or intelligence it just loves to love.
For was the one who did not give it direction
How dare I let you take a piece of me when I did not give you instructions….
No how dare I
First lesson learned
Always listen to that inner voice, don't ignore it because if you do it can seriously harm you...
No comments:
Post a Comment